Your first meeting

What actually happens, and what nobody will ask you to do

An A.A. meeting lasts about an hour. People sit down together, someone reads a short piece of A.A. literature, and members take turns talking about their own experience of drinking and of staying sober. You do not have to speak, you do not have to call yourself an alcoholic, and you do not have to say anything at all.

There is no cost, nothing to sign, and nothing to sign up for. No attendance is recorded and nothing is reported to anybody. You can wear what you have on, arrive late, sit by the door and leave early. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, and you are the only person who gets to decide whether you have one.

Before you go

Pick a meeting from today's list and just go. You do not need to call ahead, register, or tell anyone you are coming. If it helps to know what the room will be like before you walk in, that is what the rest of this page is for.

If you would rather talk to a person first, call (814) 283-4772. It is answered by a member of A.A., not a machine and not a call centre. You can ask anything, including "what is it actually like", and you do not have to give your name.

What the hour looks like

Meetings differ, but most run roughly like this. Someone opens, usually with a moment of quiet. A short reading from A.A. literature — often the chapter "How It Works", or the day's entry from a daily reflection book. Then people share, one at a time, usually for a few minutes each. Somewhere in the middle a basket goes round. At the end there is often a closing reading or prayer, and then people stay to talk.

Nobody preaches at you and nobody gives advice. People talk about themselves — what drinking was like, what happened, and what it is like now. Some of it will sound like your life and some of it will not. Both are normal.

Do I have to talk?

No. This is the thing people worry about most and it is genuinely fine to say nothing. If the meeting goes around the room, "I'll just listen tonight" moves it straight past you. If you do want to say something, "my name is ___ and this is my first meeting" is plenty, and it will usually be met with a lot of warmth — most of the room remembers being exactly where you are.

Do I have to call myself an alcoholic?

No. Not on your first night, not ever. Members often introduce themselves that way because it is a shorthand they have arrived at themselves, over time. It is not a password and nobody will hand you one. If you are not sure whether you have a problem, that is a perfectly good reason to come and listen. Not being sure is where most people start.

The money

A basket is passed for voluntary contributions — that is how the group pays for the room and the coffee. There are no dues, no fees, and no membership to buy. Nobody looks at what goes in, and newcomers are usually told to keep their money. A.A. does not accept contributions from anyone who is not a member.

Anonymity, in practice

What is said in the room stays in the room, and who you see there stays there too. Nothing is written down about who attended. Most people use first names only. If you run into someone from a meeting at the grocery store, they will follow your lead about whether you know each other.

Afterwards

Someone will probably say hello, and you may be offered a phone number. Take it if you want it — that is the actual mechanism by which this works, and it costs you nothing to have a number in your phone you never call. If someone offers to meet you at the door of the next meeting, that offer is genuine.

One meeting is not a commitment to anything. Come back or do not. Try a different one if the first did not suit you — groups have very different characters, and people often find the third or fourth meeting is the one that fits.

Common questions

What happens at an A.A. meeting?

People sit down together and talk about staying sober. Someone opens the meeting and reads a short piece of A.A. literature, then members take turns sharing their own experience. A basket is passed. It lasts about an hour and then people stand around and talk. That is the whole thing.

Do I have to speak at my first A.A. meeting?

No. You can sit and listen for the entire hour and nobody will think anything of it. If the meeting goes around the room you can say "I'll just listen tonight" and it will move straight past you. Plenty of people do exactly that for weeks.

Do I have to say I am an alcoholic?

No. You never have to call yourself anything. People often introduce themselves by first name only, and "my name is Chris and I'm just here to listen" is a completely normal thing to say. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, and you are the only person who decides whether you have it.

What should I wear to an A.A. meeting?

Whatever you have on. Meetings are held in church basements and community rooms and people come straight from work, from home, from wherever. Nobody dresses up.

Does an A.A. meeting cost anything?

No. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership. A basket is passed partway through for voluntary contributions toward rent and coffee. Pass it along if you have nothing to put in — nobody watches, and newcomers are usually told not to give anything at all.

Will anyone know I was at an A.A. meeting?

Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of A.A. Who you see and what is said in the room stays there. No attendance is recorded, nothing is reported to anyone, and most members use first names only.

What if I have been drinking?

You are still welcome, as long as you are not disruptive. Many people come to their first meeting having had a drink that day. If you are very unwell, safety comes first — see our page on stopping safely, and call a doctor or 911 if you need to.

Can I leave early?

Yes, at any point, and you do not owe anyone an explanation. Sitting near the door is a perfectly good plan for a first meeting.